Fault
by Sakura Hyuga
Summary: AU. It was all her fault.


**Hey there. This is Sakura Hyuga, who usually only lurks around in the Bleach section. However, I hosted a Secret Santa on deviantART and my person had listed GinRan angst as one of the choices. Since I was way too lazy to actually go and **_**draw **_**something (*shot*), this was one of the only series I knew pretty well because of my- *cough* obsessed *cough* friend Yuki Candy Heart. And I was actually the one who got her obsessed. So. Here we are.**

**Now, let me warn you that this is the first ever time I wrote Gin x Rangiku. Actually, it's the first time I wrote Bleach stuff. The first time I'm writing an oneshot too. And also the first ever time I wrote angst. I didn't even know what angst was until I searched it up yesterday. xD Anyways, lots of firsts in this fanfic, so yeah. Sorry if this isn't really angst.**

**Also, there's a dozen of plotholes in this story. I usually like doing that for suspense, before patching everthing up in later chapters, but since there's no later chapters…sorry. ;; Old habits die hard. This is also an AU story, because I wasn't really up-to-date with Bleach so…yeah. I didn't want any mistakes with canon so I wrote an AU. xD**

**Well, I've been rambling for a while already. Anyways, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Madin456! Thanks for being such a great and amazing friend!~ /Ack, I can't believe I got you as my person. xD**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Bleach. Nope.**

**-(*+*)-**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The tear dropped onto the top of one of her hands; the clenched blobs of skin and flesh that trembled on her lap.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

She stared at it forlornly. Her nails dug deep into her skin, probably drawing blood. Her orange hair fell limp around her shoulders, nothing like what it was before…before the accident.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The steady beep of the heart monitor never left her mind. The scenery was white, bleach white. It was artificial, cold, lifeless…all except for the person on the bed.

But even that person was only barely clinging onto life.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

And it was all her fault.

Tears dribbled down her face as she reached her shaking hands forward to clasp his motionless hand.

Ha. She was a mess. A wreck. A car-wreck.

A dry and humorless laugh choked out of her parched throat as her hands shook even more, barely holding onto his hand.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

He always said she had a twisted sense of humor. And he was right. He was always right.

They had met in the after-life, Rangiku had always proclaimed. Because she couldn't remember a time when she didn't know him. And the photo albums certainly couldn't either.

You could find a photo with them together when they were only toddlers, with the younger girl asleep on the older boy's lap. When they were slightly older, maybe a picture of them playing hide n' seek. When they just got over 'cooties', at pre-teens, with him braiding the younger girl's hair.

They were always together.

He had been a full two years older than her. Their parents had all been childhood friends. Maybe that's why their children had become that close too. Rangiku had always followed closely behind him, never surpassing him, but always closely behind.

Like in the math competition, when he had placed 1st in his age division. Rangiku placed second.

In sports, when he placed 3rd in 800 meters. Rangiku placed 4th.

In music, when he placed 2nd for his solo. Rangiku placed 3rd for singing.

But never did Rangiku mind. In fact, there was times when she had secretly hoped that he would do better than her. Because that meant nothing changed. That everything was stable.

Even though everything clearly wasn't.

It was in her first year of high school, 3rd for him, when it happened. Rangiku couldn't really remember much anymore, not when she had tried valiantly to forget.

She had been all alone when it had happened. He had been at a party, for his orchestra or for the soccer team, Rangiku couldn't really recall.

But she had been alone when the phone had ringed. Thinking it was her parents, who for some odd reason weren't home yet, she had raced to answer the phone.

But it wasn't her parents. It was certainly about them though.

The voice on the other side of the phone had a nice and sweet voice. She very calmly told Rangiku what she had to know.

Rangiku wasn't calm. After listening for a minute, she dropped the phone. It clattered on the floor, a loud and ugly sound that successfully muffled the lady's voice.

And then, Rangiku started to scream.

By the time his parents had picked him up and arrived at her house, she had already lost her voice. She was never really the same after that. He had become even more protective of her, and then became a constant person in her life, always there for her.

Like through her parents funeral.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Her parents had died in a car crash. They were both killed instantly. In fact, they could find nothing to put into the coffins.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

His parents had all but adopted her. They took care of her after the accident, always fussing over her as if she was a little toddler.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Tears streamed down her face. His parents should have just thrown her into the adoption center. If they did that, then he wouldn't be like this.

He wouldn't be the one on the bed right now.

It was all her fault.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

After the accident, all her grades dropped. Her ability to focus became shot. She felt nauseas and queasy every time she did something strenuous. She couldn't sing without crying.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

But still, he stayed by her side. He made her forget about the world and laugh. He made her smile.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It was two years after the accident. Her grades started climbing again, but nothing like what they were before. In fact, it would have been a miracle if she could have gotten into a college by the time she was older. But all in all, she was almost back to herself.

But most importantly, he was 18. He had university to think about, and because of his good grades, he had been accepted into the top university of the country.

He was leaving her.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

But university never happened. In fact, on the night that he was to leave…

…A car with a drunk driver swerved onto the sidewalk, heading straight for Rangiku…

…And he pushed her out of the way.

_Beep. _

_Drip._

_Beep._

_Drop._

_Beep._

She pushed herself out of the chair. "Why Gin? Why?!" Tears leaked out of her clenched eyes, her breathing ragged and broken.

"You would have gone and became famous! You would have made millions! Why?!"

Her hands, no, her whole body shook with barely suppressed sobs.

"Why would you give your life to someone like me?! To a nobody?!"

Of course, no reply came. With a sob, she collapsed beside the bed and started wailing. Tears that had been long holed up from years ago were now finally streaming down her face.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

It wasn't fair. Why did everyone have to leave her? Why was she the one left behind, every single time? She didn't want to be left behind. She didn't want to be the one who had to clean up all the messes left behind.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

She didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to have to cry. She didn't want to never see them again. She didn't want to be able to only visit them at their graves. She didn't want them to become nothing but a memory.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Gin…oh please Gin…please…come back…please…"

_Don't leave me alone again._

A gentle yet firm hand grasped her shoulder. Rangiku looked up.

A pale woman with tears streaming down her own face gave her a small smile. Rangiku sobbed and hugged the poor woman, the poor woman who may lose her only son and still have to take care of the person who resulted in her son's death.

"Rangiku-chan." Her soft voice was slightly hoarse, probably from all the crying. "It's time to go."

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

No…she didn't want to leave yet. She didn't want to ever leave him, like how he never left her. But…

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

He wouldn't want her to be like this, right? He wouldn't want her to fall back into the destroyed soul she was before. He wouldn't want her to be so sad, to be such a mess.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

He wouldn't want her to never smile or laugh again. In fact…even after he was gone, he would still be there for Rangiku.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

He would always be the person Rangiku would cherish most. He would always still be there with her, in her heart.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

She detached herself from the petite woman and walked over to the bed. Endless tears fell onto the blanket as she leaned forward and placed a kiss on his warm forehead. For a minute, she just watched his chest rise and fall, just watched him _still alive_. And then…

"T-Thank you Gin. For everything. For always being there for me. I-I…"

She choked on her words as she turned around. "I-I'll never forget you. And I will live my life to the fullest. So…Gin…please…"

She followed his mother to the door as she looked back one more time.

"Rest in peace. Let's meet again in the after-life."

** -(*+*)- **

Early in the morning, on the next day, the phone rang. Rangiku was the one who picked it up as her tears began to fall silently.

It was the hospital.

Ichimaru Gin had passed away overnight.

**-(*+*)-**

**END~**

**-(*+*)-**

**Wow. Um. Well, I don't know why anyone would want angst for their Christmas present. I almost died writing this. xD Ahhh, the feels! Welp, please review guys!~ I really love reviews, so, yeah. XD **

**Please Review!~**

**Sakura-chan out~**


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